6 Weeks Postpartum - Mom

Baby is now 6 weeks old! I can't believe it's only been 6 weeks; it feels like baby has been with us for so much longer. He fills a little space we never really knew was missing :)

Here are my jumbled thoughts updates. Because thinking is hard. 

Mom Updates:




My postpartum recovery was really pretty great. I have no major complaints and recovered pretty good (I'm assuming average, but I have nothing to compare it to...). The pain was gone around 2 weeks and the bleeding stopped around 3.5/4 weeks (Also: no one tells you that lochia stinks! It's super gross). 5 days after giving birth I was 6 lbs under my starting pregnancy weight. I've been eating everything in site trying to gain a bit of weight and as of this AM at my 6 week PP OBGYN appointment I am up 4 lbs, hooray! I literally sleep with a clif bar next to my bed and eat it in the wee hours of the morning during one of Connor's early AM feeds. I need to keep the calories coming for breastfeeding!

The Dr. gave me clearance to have sex and workout again. I'll also start taking a BC pill so we don't have an oopsie baby. We've already discussed baby #2, but not quite yet :)


Breastfeeding is still going well, though I actually can't stand it. We haven't had any latch/pain problems since those first few days. I have had a few clogged ducts though and those are miserable! I've started taking the supplement sunflower lecithen which is supposed to help with clogged ducts. But breastfeeding is just boring and it feels like such a chore. I'm still doing it because of all the benefits for mom, baby, and our wallet, but formula sounds so much better. Good for the people that seem to love breastfeeding, but I'm not one of them.

I've been trying to pump once everyday to build a stash of breastmilk, but being home alone it can be really hard to do so. Some days I can feed and plop baby in the rock n play and take the 20 minutes to pump. But other times he cries bloody murder when I put him down and pumping is out of the window for that day. The internet says you get more milk pumping in the morning but I haven't found that to be the case. No matter what time of day I pump I get between .5 and 1.5 ounces. But any extra milk is ok with me.

We get out of the house every day, whether it is shopping or walk. I'd go crazy if I were stuck at home all day every day. When we go on walk there is an old man that lives down the street that tell sme every time he sees us that it is too cold for a baby. Nah dude, it's not. My husband and I subscribe to the "he'll be fine" philosophy. We dress baby for the weather and that's that!

I also take a shower every day. That is another sanity thing for me. I feel like a human after a hot shower (ok, sometimes 2 or 3 showers depending on the spit up situation. I don't like smelling like vomit!). A little shower and mascara go a long way for me.

In sad news: My leave is half over which is unbelievable! This time is going too fast :(

18 days Postpartum

Wow. I wrote this ages ago and never posted it! Baby's take a lot of brain power!

Today I am 18 days postpartum and things have changed so much in the last two and a half weeks.

I will start with the rest of our hospital stay:

After the delivery we had about an hour and half for recovery before we moved to the recovery/postpartum room we'd be in the rest of our stay. The Dr. and resident were busy stopping my bleeding and stitching things up down yonder and I didn't have a care in the world. I had a beautiful baby laying on me and couldn't have been happier. We did skin to skin and he latched on and fed pretty well for the first time. My husband fed me hospital pot roast and apple juice while I nursed the baby. The nurse helped me walk to the bathroom (my legs were still half numb from the epidural. I was walking like a newborn giraffe), got me cleaned up, and showed me all of the postpartum recovery goodies I got to use: tucks, dermoblast spray, epifoam, gigantic mesh undies and even bigger pads, etc. I wasn't able to take a shower because of a broken watermain in the area which kind of sucked. It also meant I had to use cold water in squeeze bottle for my lady parts and that wasn't fun at all!

Once I was cleaned up we moved to the recovery room and we finally had visitors come in. Our families had been waiting since 3:30am and were clamoring to see the baby (and us I suppose haha). I feel like the rest of the day was a blur of feeding baby and hospital staff coming in and out. We were in the hospital for only 36 hours and were sooo ready to leave by the time we were discharged. There were constantly people coming in for my vitals, baby's vitals, bathing baby, baby testing, food service, medication, hospital admin, etc. Even though baby was sleeping long stretches we didn't get much sleep because of the revolving door of our room. It seemed like one person would leave, we would try to sleep, but then an hour later someone else would come in. Not very rest full. And then with the no shower issue as well we were completely ready for discharge! We left the hospital at 3:30pm on Sunday and made our way home!

First Days Home:

The first week home was a blur of feeding baby and very minimal sleeping. We have a bassinet for the baby (Halo Bassinest) but he wanted nothing to do with laying on his back (and who can blame him...for 40 weeks he was curled into a tiny ball). My husband and I would rotate who held the baby. I would feed him and hold him for a few hours until the next feeding and then after feeding again I would go lay down and my husband would hold him for a few hours. We rotated like this throughout the night for the first week. Once the sky started lightening I felt such a sense of relief. Like, if I could make it through the night I'd be ok. Just make it to the next day. The hours between 2am and 6am were the worst. It seemed like the night would never end. My mom was staying for a few days and did grocery shopping. laundry, held the baby while we both took a nap, etc. Everything she did was incredibly helpful.

Breastfeeding:

Breastfeeding has had it's ups and downs for sure. The lactation consultant visited us the 2nd day in the hospital (why they don't come the first day is a complete mystery to me. It would have been much for helpful! She basically told me I was doing everything wrong. But after meeting with her I felt pretty good about everything. Until we got home. Baby would latch fine on the right side but then the left side was SO painful. I have no idea why it was so different but it was awful. I was in tears. I even pumped a few times and gave him a bottle because I just couldn't bear the thought of him latching on. I desperately called the outpatient breastfeeding clinic and they didn't call me back for days. SO not helpful. But luckily whatever baby's issue was corrected itself and I never bothered calling the clinic back because I was mad at them.



Since it took me so long to post this I have no idea if I meant to write about anything else. I will make another update now that we are 6 weeks post baby's birthday.

Postpartum Must Haves

Today marks 12 days postpartum. And we are sleep deprived but surviving! I made a list of my postpartum must haves that have been helping me get by the last few days:

1. Leggings: self-explanatory. Comfy pants to lounge in since I've been spending most of my time sitting.

2. Button down tops: Button ups have made breast feeding much easier. I can whip a boob out as needed. I love the Mossimo flannel from Target. I have 3 of them in various colors. The flannel is soft and the shirt is a loose fit. Great for lounging! Target - Plaid Flannel Shirt

3. Nursing bras: Key for breast feeding! I ordered a no-name brand from Amazon and have loved them. They are really soft and fit really well. I also have a Bravado nursing bra that I got at my shower and I hate it! The side strappy piece (that stays after you unclip the flap/pad) is so big the entire shoulder strap falls down and gets in the way while feeding). Nursing Bras

4. Depends: This one definitely isn't for everyone, but I've been a huge fan. The pads from the hospital were huge and bulky and I felt like I was leaking off the sides of them. I've still had a fairly heavy discharge since having the baby and I've felt much more secure wearing the Depends rather than pads. I've only just switched to a pad today, but will probably still wear my lovely adult diaper at night.

5. Lansinoh Lanolin: Breastfeeding has been a challenge, and while Baby and I are both getting better at it, the nipples take a lot and the lanolin calms them and gets me through to the next feeding. I do want to try another cream like Bamboobies or Earth Mama Angel Baby. Anyone have thoughts on either of those?

 

6. Stool softener: The first postpartum poop is terrifying! The hospital started giving me stool softener and I continued taking it at home. I had some really bad constipation and also took Milk of Magnesia as well as a glycerin suppository. After getting through that phase I've still been taking the softener. Things are a mess down under and anything I can do to ease things I will do!

7. Ibuprofen: I also started taking ibuprofen while in the hospital and have kept up that regimen as well. Again, anything to ease the hot mess down under...

8. Tucks: No one told me about the hemorrhoids. I  felt prepared to be in pain from giving birth (especially because I had an episiotomy), but I was wholly unprepared for the hemorrhoids. I have never any had before and didn't realize how painful they are! I didn't even know I had any until about 12 hours after birth when the nurse went to check down there and mentioned I should get an ice pack for them. TBH I had more pain from these than from my episiotomy. Don't let up on the Tucks! 12 days later and mine aren't bothering me anymore. 

9. Snacks: I have a lot of random snacks like Clif Bars, cracker packs, fruit/veggie pouches (yes, like you pack in a 6 year old's lunch), etc. Having snacks handy at 4am when you are up feeding Baby and are hungry AF is key. Treats like m&ms are also key. Because chocolate. I hit up the after Halloween sales asap.

10. Huge water bottle: Hydration is key for making breastmilk! I have a 48oz Bubba water bottle. I drink probably 4 of these a day. I got mine for $4 on clearance at Walmart. 

11. Sitz Bath: I had no idea what this was until my nurse mom bought one for me. If you don't know: You fill it with warm water and sit in it. It provides pain relief for your underparts that just birthed a human. 

 

12. Mascara and Blush: Self care is super important! Caring for a newborn is no joke but I still need to feel good about myself. A little bit of makeup goes a long way at making me feel like myself. 

13. Daily showers: See above. Self care is important!  After a long night of being awake feeding a hungry baby a shower makes me feel human.

14. Naps: Again. See above. Self care. I can't care for a baby without any sleep at all. 

15. Help: Ok, this one is key to numbers 13 and 14. Having my mom around has been amazing. She does dishes, makes food, does laundry, etc. She also holds the baby so I can shower and nap. It's nice when it's just me and the husband and the baby, but having other hands has also been great and so good for our recovery and entrance into this parenthood thing. 

Happy Birthday!

Little Baby H was born 10/28/17! 12:27pm, 8lb 7oz, 21.5 inches long. He's just the best baby 😍😍 



😍
I woke up at 5:30am Friday morning with contractions that were 5 min apart and lasted about a minute for over an hour. I thought "This is it! Baby is coming on his due date!" When my husband woke up for work I told him he should maybe stay home instead.
We kept tracking contractions throughout the day, but they didn't progress. Didn't get closer, didn't get more painful. I was so frustrated. I kept going for walks, even in the rain, and spent a lot of time bousing and rolling on my exercise ball hoping that would proress things, but nothing. I finally fell sleep around 1130, going in and out of sleep with contractions all night and woke up at 1:30am not able to go to sleep again. 

My contractions were worse, 2 minutes apart for over a minute. I woke my husband up after an hour and he called the dr who gave us the go ahead to go to the hospital! We left our house at 2:47am and arrived at the hospital at 3:05am. We got through registration painlessly, you know, because it was 3am and no one was there, and got to a triage room on the L&D floor. I was so afraid I wouldn't be dilated anymore than the 2 I had been for weeks, but my initial exam the dr said I was a 4.5-5cm, 80% effaced, -2 station so I got admitted! We were going to have a baby!

We got moved to a delivery room right away and settled in. Around 5:30 my dr gave us the option of breaking my water. I was unsure at first because I didnt want unnecessary interventions, but we went through with it because we wanted get this show on the road. The dr broke my water around 6:30am and dang those contractions really intensified! I had been doing ok with the contractions previously but very quickly they became very painful. I was unsure going in about an epidural but at 8am I asked for one and received: it around 8:45. It was only working on the right half and it took until about 9:45, and two boosters, before it worked all over, but when it did?? Omg I'm soo glad I got it. 

I was shaking so bad and threw up around 10am so the dr checked me and I was 7cm, 90%, -1.It was nice to know things were still heading in the right direction, and I was proud i lasted until 7cm for the epidural. I was able to fall sleep until about 11:30am and after 2 nights of very little, poor sleep, it felt so good! The dr came back around 11:45am, said I was complete and it was go time! Baby was born after about 45 min of pushing at 12:27pm. I had an episiotomy because I had a band of tissue that just wasn't stretching, but after they cut he popped out on the next push. Again, it was an intervention I didn't want (and of course, who DOES want that?!?!) but baby's heart rate was dropping quite a bit, and though the nurse and doctor tried not to act like it was a major emergency, both my husband and I could sense some urgency in them so we went ahead with it. It was worth it to get Baby out safely.

The moment of his birth was so surreal. All of a sudden there was a baby on my chest and I remember thinking 'oh my god that's a baby!' It seems like a weird thought after carrying the baby for 40 weeks, but that's what my crazy head did :) I had a wonderful birth experience. I really wouldn't change a single thing about it, and would love if my next was the same. I had a great delivery dr and nurse, and the rest of the staff was amazing as well. I will write a seperate update about the rest of our hospital stay when I get more time (caring for a newborn is no joke! Who knew?)

We are so thrilled and happy and in love with our new addition.

40 Week Update

I will be 40 weeks tomorrow and still no baby......

So much for 3 different doctors telling me since 36 weeks I'd be early......

I'm still about 2cm dilated and 70% effaced, so no major changes since last appointment. We scheduled an induction for next Thursday in case Baby doesn't show up on their own. I like having an end date. I'm very much a type B person, expect when it comes to schedules and punctuality. It has been driving me nuts to not know when this baby could show up! Maybe Baby is just waiting for their actual due date? You would think I was used to uncertainty and nothing going as planned at this point after going through fertility treatments, but nope, I still have very specific expectations and hate when they aren't met. And that's going to go over really well with a baby, right? #eyeroll #sarcasm


Pregnancy Week: 40 weeks
Cravings: None
Aversions: My appetite is pretty much back to normal and my food aversions are still the same. I don't even bother thinking about cooking chicken or most veggies anymore. 
Symptoms: A lot of crying and self pitying. I also have a verrryyyy weak bladder and wear liners now (pregnancy is so glamorous) (it's also very embarrassing and makes me cry even more). I also still have the contractions (no painful ones that make me think I'm in labor. Just tightness), cramping, and tiredness.
Weight Gain: 15lbs! Finally!
Emotional Breakdowns: About a million.
Achievements: Scheduling an induction.

I am a giraffe.

39+3

I was awake at 2:30am this morning crying because I haven't had this baby yet #hormotional

39 Week Update

Still here. Still pregnant. Still waiting.

I'm 2cm dilated and 70% effaced, which is no change from last week, but the dr said it's still good progress. If they do have to induce me it shouldn't be as hard and would potentially just start me on pitocin instead of having to get cervadil first. If I make it to my appointment next week then we will schedule an induction for 41 weeks just in case (I'm hoping I don't make it passed the weekend).  Baby is getting even lower and the Dr. seemed surprised I was still walking 30-45 minutes every day with how low they are! In the last day or two I've noticed a lot more contractions, especially between last evening and now. I hadn't been timing them because they aren't painful at all, but I'm beginning to think maybe I should. Other than that it's still same old same old! Waiting waiting waiting....

Pregnancy Week: 39 weeks
Cravings: None
Aversions: I've had more of an appetite the last few weeks, I think because baby has dropped so I have some more room in my stomach these days. 
Symptoms: Cramping, contractions, tiredness.
Weight Gain: 13.9 lbs.Stomach measuring 36cm, up from 34 last week.
Emotional Breakdowns: Quite a few. I sobbed for an hour last week while watching Dancing With the Stars, plus a few other crying moments. 
Achievements: We're all set and ready for this baby! We're just waiting to meet them!!

Every time I've called someone in the last week.

37 Week Update

Today is 37+3. At our 37 week appointment last week I was 1.5 cm dilated, 70% effaced. The dr said it was good progress and if I do end up needing to be induced it should make things a bit easier since I'm 'ripe' (hubs and I both giggled at that because we're very mature adults).

I've been having menstrual like cramps every day and contractions some days. I also have been getting this leg pain for about 2 weeks now randomly. It's in the inside upper thigh, almost groin area and feels almost like a charley horse. It makes my whole leg buckle and is very painful. The internet tells me it is baby pressing on a nerve. I forgot to bring it up to my dr last appointment but it has happened quite a bit more lately so it's on my list for this next appointment.

I'm still not gaining weight like I should. At 37 week appointment I had lost weight, about a pound. I think the dr. thinks I have an eating disorder so that's really great. I still haven't made it to gaining 15 lbs. He sent us for a growth scan again and baby is measuring right on track according to the ultrasound tech. She said baby's estimated weight is 6lbs 8 oz so nice and healthy!

I hit a new milestone. I had made it this far with only having to wake up once to pee at night but this past week I started having to get up twice most nights. Whomp whomp. Luckily I fall right back asleep but it still sucks having to get up when you're nice and cozy. 

I'm hoping to make it another week and a half to 2 weeks, and no more than that. But whenever baby decides to come we have the nursery all set and decorated finally! We are going to install the car seat tomorrow and besides my husband's hospital bag we are set set set!

Due Date Month!!!

Also this:

36 Week Update!

Holy Moly I'm entering my last month of pregnancy!! I am so ready to be done. I haven't had a difficult pregnancy by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm over it and ready to meet this baby.

We had our 36 week appointment today. I had a swab for Group B Strep and the Dr. did a cervical exam. I'm 1 cm dilated and 70% effaced which he said is good progress. He thinks I'll be a week or two early. I'm hoping for one week (We have an agreement, Baby...only one week!); anywhere between one week early and my due date is ok with me!

I've been having some cramping and contractions as well. I started noticing some cramping two weeks ago, but it was so faint and dull, kind of like oh maybe I'll get my period in the next week or so. And if I hadn't been sitting down on the sofa I don't know if I would have noticed at all. I had been thinking I had a few contractions previously as well, but was sure. The past few days though I've been able to definitively say yes these are contractions! Definitely not true labor because they stop, not get stronger and closer together, but it's been several times a day. I've also had the cramping again but stronger and noticeable.

This appointment and hearing what I'm measuring as well as the contractions and cramping really made things so real all of a sudden. Like, yeah I know I'm pregnant, duh. But omg this baby really is coming soon! We've been wishing and hoping and struggling and working towards this moment for almost 3 years now and it's just about here. I feel like the pain of infertility has been pushed to a far back corner of my mind. I'm so excited for this baby (and definitely slightly terrified about bringing a newborn home...I've never cared for a baby before....).

Pregnancy Week: 36 weeks
Cravings: None
Aversions: Same as always, but my appetite has picked up a little bit which is nice.
Symptoms: I've started having some cramping and contractions. And I'm back to being tired.
Weight Gain: 13.2 pounds.
Emotional Breakdowns: 0
Achievements: The nursery is just about finished. I used our completion discounts at Target and Amazon to pick up the last few things I think we need. Everything from Target should delivered today! We completed a breastfeeding class (which was very good) and a baby care class (which was absolutely terrible).

32 Week Update

Today marks 32 weeks!!

This is the last milestone I have in my crazy head. Hitting 32 weeks means I get to go to my hospital of choice: My doctor's office is affiliated with a hospital system that has a few in my area. The one closest to me is the reason I specifically chose this OBGYN practice 4 years ago. It's the hospital I knew I wanted to deliver at. The other hospital is a little farther away and is an area I don't like, but it has a higher level NICU. It's the practice's policy if you go into labor before 32 weeks you go to this other hospital. Now I've reached that magic number of 32!

About a month ago I was at a wedding shower and another woman was pregnant, 36 weeks. Something she said really struck me and made me think how different my mind set is after going through treatments than a 'regular' woman's mind set is. She said once they hit 37 weeks she'd breathe a huge sigh of relief because she would be considered full term. In my head I haven't even been concerned with reaching full term! I was so concerned with the 24 week milestone and then the 28 week milestone that once we reached those in my head I was thinking 'SUCCESS!' While we haven't dealt with recurrent miscarriage or late term loss (we had one chemical pregnancy), going through fertility treatments has given me the mindset that anything can go wrong at any moment and each moment, each day, each week is so important and precious for this little baby growing. While I don't want this little one to be preterm I know at this point they will be in such good hands and they will have such a good chance of coming home with us.

Anyways. We had our 32 week appointment yesterday and everything is looking good. We had an additional ultrasound to check baby's growth because of my weight issues. I'm up 12.8 lbs overall, but baby is measuring perfectly at 4lbs 6oz - 57th percentile <3. I can't believe we only have max 9 weeks (My dr will only let me get to 41 weeks before induction) before meeting this little one! Time seemed to go fast and then it really dragged on, and now it's flying!!

Pregnancy Week: 32 weeks,
Cravings: None
Aversions: Same as always, those yesterday I actually had a pretty full appetite which was exciting.
Birthdays had this week: 1
Symptoms: Not as tired. I think I got the 2nd trimester energy kick a little late...Some heartburn but not bad this week. Peeing all the time. yesterday I peed, changed to go for a walk, peed again, and then 40 minutes later was practically running home to pee again. 3 times in an hour. COME ON.
Weight Gain: 12.8 pounds.
Emotional Breakdowns: 0
Achievements: We got the crib mattress and I washed baby clothes and sheets and towels and things. I also signed us up for a breastfeeding class. I had to get my desk raised up at work to fit this growing stomach.

31 Week Update

We've hit 31 weeks! We had a follow up appointment last week about my weight gain. At the time of my appointment I was only up 11 pounds. I have another appointment next week with an ultrasound to check baby's growth. The dr didn't seem too alarmed. He said if I gain a pound a week until delivery I'll hit about 20 which would still be good. But a week later, as of this morning I've only gained 0.2 pounds. So things aren't looking up in that department.
I feel like when I talk about this with other people they brush it off, or act like I'm lucky or won the lottery. Because what girl WANTS to gain weight, right? With all we've been through for this baby I am trying to do the best I possibly can to give them the best start in life. That's my job as mom/baby grower. Not gaining enough weight is just as bad as gaining too much weight, but it seems like most people don't see it like that and it's upsetting. I'm so afraid I'm doing something wrong and hurting this poor little one.
The good thing is that my stomach is definitely growing. Each day I feel like I have to sit further and further away from my desk at work. And Baby is very active! Moving around like a ping pong ball. They really like to stick little body parts under my rib cage and to kick my left ovary.

Pregnancy Week: 31 weeks, third trimester.
Cravings: None
Aversions: Same as always.
Symptoms: Extra tired. Heartburn has really started kicking in. Also still a very small appetite (i had half a dunkin donut this morning and was full. I used to want two at a time!). I've started drinking smoothies to help gain weight. Plain greek yogurt, avocado, whole milk, some fruit juice, frozen berries, fresh banana, spinach.
Weight Gain: 11.2 pounds.
Emotional Breakdowns:Two. The past few days I've felt overly emotional. I cried in the shower thinking about Baby and my weight and if I'm hurting them :( I also cried in an Old Navy dressing room because the jean jacket I tried on looked terrible and my hairstylist fucked up and I think my haircut looks like The Rachael from Friends.
Achievements:We have all the large pieces of the nursery set up! Glider, crib, dresser, rug. Next on my to-do list is to tackle the closet and get the decorative pieces hung.
I also got my T-Dap and Flu vaccines!

So much grunting. When I sit, when I stand, when I bend over. Basically always.

Third Trimester!

I am 28 weeks today and it's the first day of the third trimester!! How did I get here!?! I'm so excited, but d-day still seems so far away (84 days to be exact).

We had our 28 week appointment and glucose test on Monday. I lost weight between the 24 week and 28 week appointment so I have to go back in 2 weeks instead of 4 to monitor. My fundal height is finally measuring on track at 28 cm instead of being 3 weeks ahead like at my last two appointments.
The glucose test wasn't bad at all. My doctor recommended fasting (not required) saying they tend to see more people pass who have fasted beforehand. That was the worst part of the whole test. It seems like the whole of the internet thinks the drink is the most terrible thing to pass their lips. I thought it just tasted like orange soda. Our dr was very on time that day so we waited for about 45 minutes in the waiting room before my blood draw. They took 5 tubes of blood and sent us on our way. I was starving by this point so I mobile ordered a bagel from Dunkin Donuts and of course they lost my order receipt and I had to wait 10 minutes for them to figure out what was going on and get my my food. Note to Dunkin: Don't make the fasting pregnant lady wait. She's hungry :)

I got my results on Thursday and passed with a 127 with a cutoff of 135. Woo!! Milkshakes here I come!

Baby has been kicking me in my left ovary lately which is really pleasant, let me tell you. These ovaries have taken enough torture the last few years Baby! Try kicking something else for a little while please!

We are still working on getting the baby's room together. I might take a trip to Ikea this weekend, but I hate crowds so much so I'm trying to find the best time to go, which would of course be weeknights but then I just really love sitting on my sofa after work. I feel like we have so much to do and no time to do it. My always lengthening list of things to do:

• Put together the crib
• Select and purchase a chair for the nursery (rocker or glider??)
• Keep stocking up on diapers and wipes (I put a box of 900 wipes on our registry. I then looked up how long it should last. One month says internet moms. ONE month. Holy cow.)
• Organize the dresser
• Organize the closet
• Continue packing the hospital bags. I can check toiletries off the list. I saw people saying they didn't pack those until they were actually in labor because it was things they used everyday, but I just bought travel-sized items. I just want to be packed and not have to worry.
• Buy a chest freezer for breast milk and frozen meals
• Make frozen meals
• Figure out how breast pumping works

Pregnancy Week: 28 weeks
Cravings: None
Aversions: Chicken. Like always.
Symptoms: Still have a small appetite. Maybe I need to start drinking Boost.
Weight Gain: 12 lbs.Currently at 10 total.
Emotional Breakdowns:One, but it was because I hate my haircut. The stylist cut off 2.5 inches more than I asked.
Achievements: Reached the 3rd Trimester!

3 months Until Baby's Due Date

Today marks 3 months until Baby's due date! I can't believe it's that close, but still so far. I still don't really have much to complain about, pregnancy-wise. I did have my first swelling episode over the past weekend: My toes looked like sausages and I couldn't see the bones and tendons in my feet like I normally can. But we were sitting outside for a few hours in 90 degree heat and (what felt like) 100% humidity. The next morning they looked much better, so I'm hoping it's just a rare occurrence.

I bought a Snoogle pregnancy pillow and it's been really great. I debated for a while and looked at a lot of different types before ending up with the Snoogle. I did test it out on a bed at Bed Bath and Beyond before buying it (+20% off coup!). I use it both ways, with the long part against my back and my front and so far so good! (I DO regret not paying the $10 more for the zipper cover though! That thing was a bitch to get off to wash and back on! Upgrade to the zipper cover, people!) I do get up a few nights a week to pee, but have no trouble going back to sleep quickly. I try not to drink anything an hour before bedtime to help mitigate the pee problem. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't.

I also started going back to the gym, which I have been paying for but haven't been too since before our transfer in February. I've walking outside, but this mid summer heat has been brutal and I'm afraid it will make me swell! So back to the gym! It is nice to switch it up and do something besides walking. Yesterday I used the elipical! Woo! I also got to test drive my new support belt. I don't really know if it seemed to make a difference, but maybe as I get bigger I will? I need to buy new work out clothes. Every time I think I have enough clothing to get me through the rest of this pregnancy I'm proven wrong. All of my pre-pregnancy workout gear is getting too tight and uncomfortable. I hate spending money on something I'm only going to wear for a few months; it seems like such a waste. I'm hoping just going the next size up will be fine and that I won't have to get actual maternity gear, because just like weddings, slap the word baby on something and the price skyrockets.

Last exciting bit: My breast pump came in the mail this week! I went with the Spectra S2 and thanks to the Affordable Care Act it was free! #ilovefree Now I'm trying to figure out how many bottles a pumping/working mom needs and how many extra parts I need, etc. Luckily I have a few months to figure that out. Breast pumps: The things I get excited about now.


Other than that we're just cruising along at this point. My 1-hour glucose test is next week and I'm REALLY hoping I pass. I'm not dreading the drink or the blood draw, just the results!

Just substitute beer with wine.

99 Days!

Today is 99 days until Little Babe's due date!!! I can't believe we are down to double digits (though, let's be real, 99 is still a LOT of days!)!

We never heard from our regular OB after our fetal echo-cardiogram so I'm assuming that means everything is ok.

We got the rug down and the dresser put together in the baby's room. And then we promptly filled up the room with a ton of baby things from our first baby shower! I do have to say I feel so lucky and fortunate that every single person who attended actually bought something from our registry. We've all been to those showers (wedding and baby) where people go totally off the reservation and buy something weird and random and you have no idea what to do with. And you say thank you this is amazing! And secretly are trying to figure out where it is so you can return it for something you will use.... (This isn't just me right?)

Anyways, I'm slightly panicked because this first shower was a third of the size of my second shower later this summer and I have NO idea where things are going to go! We need to reorganize and declutter the house asap!

My latest obsession is baby schedules, feeding/pumping schedules, going back to work schedules, etc. I've been reading every article and blog trying to figure out how the heck women go back to work. I don't want to leave the little one! (I also don't want to have to wake up earlier than I already do lolol)

Pregnancy Week: 25 (26 weeks tomorrow!)
Cravings: None
Aversions: Chicken. Like always.
Symptoms: Very small appetite, lost a pound.
Weight Gain: 12 lbs.
Emotional Breakdowns: Half of one.
Achievements: Cluttered Baby's room.

23+5 - Fetal Echocardiogram

Today I am 23 weeks + 5 days and it's been a busy week for appointments!
Today we had a fetal echocardiogram. Our OB had us schedule this because there is some evidence that IVF babies have a higher risk of heart defects. Our appointment was for 8am and it took about 45 minutes. The tech went through every little detail of the heart so we go t a nice long look at Little Babe. Baby was mostly cooperative, though it's arm was in the way for a little bit, casting a shadow on the heart, so she kept trying to get Baby to move.

I also almost passed out from being on my back! I've passed out before (though not while pregnant) so I'm very aware of what it feels like setting in. I started to get uncomfortable, and breathing weird, and sweaty. When I spoke my voice was muffled. She had me move on my side and I felt much better pretty fast, but then she needed me to move again to my back for a few minutes to get another view and the feelings set in again. I was just telling a friend on Monday, 2 days ago, that laying on my back hasn't been a problem. So much for that! I will definitely have to be careful moving forward!

The tech said everything looked great with the heart and we also had her check for the subchorionic hematoma they found during the anatomy scan. She said it looked like it had all cleared up which is great (and really great that we were able to cancel our additional ultrasound for tomorrow. Save those dollars).

We had our regular 24 week OB appointment on Monday (23+3) this week as well. Baby's heart beat was good, but the doctor said I was measuring 27 with fundal height. It's the 2nd appointment in a row I've measured 3+ weeks ahead. If Baby measures ahead again like this we will have to have another ultrasound at the MFM. I certainly don't feel big and when I look at pictures of people in the same week of pregnancy I don't think I look bigger at all! I have read that fundal height is really screwy and not a great predictor but of course I'm stressed about it. Hopefully next appointment we measure right on track.

Pregnancy Week 23:
Cravings: Still none.
Aversions:Chicken.
Symptoms: Heartburn, almost passing out if on my back.
Weight Gain: 10 lbs.
Emotional Breakdowns: One.
Achievements: Painted Little Babe's room!

20 week update

So I'm not actually 20 weeks yet; I'm 19+5, but close enough!
Yesterday was out 20 week appointment and anatomy scan which means we got to see Little Babe again! The ultrasound tech switched to 3D/4D mode a few times for us, and basically Little Babe is the cutest baby there every was, not that I'm biased or anything. So cute. I used to think those 3D/4D pictures were creepy, but now that it's mine I can't get enough. I could stare at that little picture all day #hearteyes. And I have been. Just don't tell my work that.

A few notes from my appointment:

I apparently have a subchorionic hematoma."Subchorionic bleeding (also known as a subchorionic hematoma) is the accumulation of blood within the folds of the chorion (the outer fetal membrane, next to the placenta) or between the uterus and the placenta itself. It can cause light to heavy spotting, but it may not. Most subchorionic bleeds resolve on their own, and women go on to have perfectly healthy pregnancies." - Thanks whattoexpect.com

The tech, nurse, and dr. all asked multiple times if I had any bleeding or cramping so far and I reported no every time. Not one drop since my last period.  The dr said because of the hematoma I may have some bleeding at some point. I'm glad I know ahead of time so I'm not so alarmed if I do bleed! If I didn't know about the SCH and started bleeding I'd be at the ER in an instant, totally freaked out.

We got a referral to the MFM for an ultrasound to check on the SCH, but the dr. said to just go in 4 weeks when we have our echocardiogram scheduled. He didn't seem to concerned about the whole thing.  

The dr. also said my fundal height is measuring big at 22cm. The internet says anything + or - 2 cm of your weeks of pregnancy is normal, so at almost 20 weeks I think 22cm should be fine. I never would have thought I was big though! I started this pregnancy around 123/125 lbs (with doing fertility treatments I have not real clue what my weight was. It was all over the place) and I was at 130.25 yesterday. Maybe baby is just growing so well in my super comfy uterus that I won't go over my due date :)

I started feeling their movements about a week ago at 18+4. The first day I thought "oh weird, I'm gassy again" but then the next day I felt the same feelings in the same spot, which had me thinking maybe it's something else! The dr. told me yesterday I have an anterior placenta, a little off to the right and the movements I've felt have been towards the lower left so that makes sense why I haven't felt anything elsewhere yet! Having an anterior placenta can make it harder to feel movement until baby is larger and stronger since there is more fluff in the way. It also makes sense why I only hear the heart beat on the left side and not the right when I use our home doppler.

As for Baby: Their heart is beating about 156 beats per minute and has all it's important pieces and parts.

Pregnancy Week 20:
Cravings: None. Is that normal?
Aversions: baked/grilled chicken. Still makes me gaggy.
Weight Gain: 5-7ish lbs.
Emotional Breakdowns: A few.
Boy Name: First name chose, middle name TBD.
Girl Name: First name TBD, middle name chosen.
 

I still feel like this.

15 week Update

Today marks 15 weeks! My app says Little Babe is the size of an eclair yuummmm.

I had been dealing with bad headaches for about 3 weeks. I would get maybe a day of relief, 2 if I was lucky, and then it would be back full force. I tried taking tylenol, drinking something with caffeine (both coke and coffee), peppermint oil on temples/back of neck, had husband massage my neck and head, ice, heat, darkness, sunshine, exercise, etc. basically anything I could think of.
I was at my wits end so I asked my dr if there was ANYthing else I could do. She prescribed me fioricet. There are mixed feelings amongst pregnant women about the medication. It contains Acetaminophen, Butalbital (a barbituate), and Caffeine and is considered a class C, meaning risk isn't ruled out. My OB prescribed it as a last resort and last resort is exactly where I was with the headaches. I would have sold my left kidney to make them go away. Normally when you have a headache for a day you can just deal with it and it goes away soon (like if you have a stomach ache or something else. You know the pain will lessen, you know what I mean?). Having a headache for so long is so draining physically and emotionally. I was nauseous from the pain and the nausea made me not have an appetite. I was crying at my desk, crying in my car, crying at home, I was so miserable. The medication worked within about 40 minutes. I actually felt hungry for the first time in a few days. I took another dose before bed because I could tell the 1st was wearing off, but when I woke up this morning without a headache I felt like a brand new person. I felt so much relief. I am SO glad I took the medication and I'm glad to know I have it in case I really truly need it again. A lot of people steer clear of all meds if possible during pregnancy and say they should just 'tough it out', but if you are truly in pain and miserable at least ask your dr about options.
etc. basically anything I could think of or read on the internet. Nothing worked. Then I had about 4 days of really really bad headaches and I gave in. I asked my dr if there was

I still am not really showing. I was hoping to have a cute little bump for vacation next week but I think I'll just look like a blob. Oh well, vacation is vacation, right?

Updates on Updates on Updates (14 Weeks!)

OH GOODNESS I'VE BEEN TERRIBLE!! I haven't updated since our first OB appointment!

Here it goes:

We had our 12 week appointment on April 11th (11 weeks 4 days). We decided to go through with the NT scan and blood work. Originally I wasn't sure if we were going to. Because we did PGS we already know a lot more about our embryo than these tests would have told us. BUT because the testing is covered by my insurance it really was just another chance to see Little Babe! I don't think I could have gone from 10 weeks to 20 weeks without another look!

The dr told us everything looked great and we had a super duper low chance of down syndrome. He was confused by our response of "we know" because he hadn't actually read our chart #typical.

We finally made things Facebook Official at 13 weeks, 2 days. We posted a picture with a Worth the Wait onsie and all of our needles. I had been really nervous about the baby and the pregnancy in general because I hadn't been gaining weight and wasn't showing. I figured I blow up like a blimp real quick! I had been on a low sugar/carb diet eating veggies and eggs and baked chicken for so long with the IVF and FET and then with food aversions I switched to pretty much eating all the carbs all day long. But nope, no gain. So I bought a home doppler from Amazon (yay Amazon Prime!) against my doctor's advice. The first try I couldn't find the heart beat and I was trying to be ok with it and just think baby as in a bad position, but was definitely upset. We tried again an hour later and was able to find it! It was sooo nice to hear! We posted on FB soon after that little reassurance. I've used it a few times since and it's easier and easier to find the HB as Little Babe gets bigger. It's such a lovely sound <3

In the last week or so I've started noticing a little bump that is bump-like and not bloat anymore! It's much more pronounced in the morning before I pee. Then it deflates a bit haha. I like when it's bigger. It's a nice reassurance. I spent so much time over the last may years trying to stay skinny and lose weight and all that it's such a 180 for my brain that I want a bump! I want a bump now! I'm still in the awkward stage that other people would have no idea that I'm pregnant if they look at me. We are going on vacation to FL next week and I want a cute little bump for my bathing suit! I don't think that's going to be happening at this rate ha.

Today I am 14 weeks, 4 days. Our next appointment is next week at 15 weeks, 4 days.My appointments are generally very quick. I never have many questions. This appointment's set of questions include: Can I ride a bike at 20w1d? Can I eat Trader Joe's Wine Country Chicken Salad?
That's it!

Status Updates:
Baby Size: a Troll Doll, a Lemon, a House Mouse
Weight Gain: 0lbs
Symptoms: Sleepy, Headaches (omg the headaches), Food Aversions. I still can't stand the site of bake chicken or cooked veggies
Cravings: None
Other: I finished my baby registry (except picking a stroller) and have picked a wall color for the nursery (which my husband thinks is boring, but too bad :) )

9w5d: First OB Appointment

How far along: 9 weeks, 6 days
Symptoms: Bloating, hungry, tired.
Cravings: Nothing in particular.
Aversions: Chicken
Highlights of the week: Last PIO!

We FINALLY had our first regular OB appointment! We arrived right on time, had to fill out some new pregnancy paperwork, and waited about 15 minutes to be seen (thank goodness because I had to pee so bad, I was about to ask if I could pee in the cup while we waited). Crazy lady in the waiting room was complaining to the front desk she had been waiting over 30 minutes to be seen. Heaven forbid you have to wait in a dr office waiting room. Join the club lady.

Anyways, when we were called back I was weighed (evil Dr. office scale says I am heavier than my very nice home scale says. Rude), peed in a cup, had BP checked (112/72, nice!), and sent back to the room to wait for the Dr. We had to wait about 35 more minutes in the room for the dr, which is still nice than being at work, so was I complaining? Nope.

Our appointment was with a dr. I hadn't seen before at this practice and she was wonderful. I never felt rushed during our appointment. She asked what questions I had:
1. Can I exercise again - YES!! HALLELUJAH. I can jog, use weights, and do all the things I've been dying to do. She said to keep HR under 150 and not get out of breath. Done.
2. Can I drink tea again - The internet says you can drink tea and the internet says you can't drink tea. I wasn't a tea person until we started infertility treatments. My acupuncturist has recommended a few teas and it now became a part of my regular routine and I find it relaxing. I usually drink peppermint, chamomile, and dandelion, which the doc said was all totally fine. Yay!

Dr. went over all our history (and there was a lot of it) and next steps. Because we did PGS and I had genetic blood screening she said the regular genetic blood screening and 12 week ultrasound aren't really necessary and much more optional. She said she didn't recommend or not recommend and that it was totally optional. I'm going to call my insurance to see if it's covered, because if it is then sure I'll get another picture of the little one! She also said their high risk doctor recommends an additional ultrasound around 22/24 weeks to check the heart because apparently IVF can raise the risk of heart defects. I think we'll definitely be doing that one.

We finished our appointment with an ultrasound of Little Babe. Oh my goodness I miss my RE clinic's ultrasound machine! The quality was SO much better! We did get to see the heart beat, Doc said it was in the 160s, and Little Babe was wiggling and moving it's hands and feet for us <3 <3 <3

If we do the genetic screening I will go for blood work next week, 12 week scan the following week (OMG 12 weeks already?!), then 16 week appt.

I'm so happy everything is going so well so far! 10 weeks finally feels real! It feels significant. I'm so so happy <3

PS: Today is my last PIO! My butt is SO happy.

7w6d: Ultrasound!

Oh goodness, I realized I never updated after our last appointment! We went in to our RE clinic for another ultrasound at 7w6d. Little Babe measured 8w1d with a heart rate of 171bmp. It was actually starting to look like a baby! It is always such a relief to see it with it's little heart beating away on the screen.
And the best news is that was our last RE appointment!! We have officially graduated!!

Our first OB appointment is later this week at 9w5d. I'm totally off estrogen patches and I should only have 4 PIO injections left! My but is going to be so happy. If my OB tells me I need to stay on PIO longer I might just have a breakdown in the drs office.

We have also finally told our families. We told parents, grandparents, and siblings, as well as a few very close friends. Other than those people we are going to keep it quiet for a few weeks longer.

Symptoms:

• I had major food aversions for about two weeks, which finally abated during the last week. Vegetables and protein turned my face green. I've basically been surviving off of fruit and carbs.
• Bloated: I have add to use the hair tie trick during the last week. I think of combination of general bloat as well as my all carb diet has contributed to my expanding waist line at this point. I'm still getting some exercise in, but my RE said to stick to walking for now which sucks. I'm hoping my OB clears me for some weights and jogging!
• Tired: I want all the sleep. 

6w5d: Ultrasound

On Wednesday we had another ultrasound at 6 weeks, 5 days. Little Babe has gotten bigger and is more blob shaped than cute little soap bubble. I measured at 7 weeks and heart was at 135 bpm, so everything was still great looking!

It's such a relief to see that little heart beating away. I haven't really had symptoms; I've been tired, even after 8.5 hours of sleep, slightly sore boobs, and some slight food aversions. But not the nausea and vomiting that rom-coms and sit-coms tell me is the hallmark sign of pregnancy. This whole thing still doesn't seem real to me! I don't know if it will until I start bumping and can actually see the physical growth outside of me.

I get to start decreasing my patches to one patch every two days on Monday! And then progresterone stops at 10 weeks.

Until then, we have another ultrasound at our fertility clinic next week at 7w6d and then our first OB appointment two weeks after that. I love seeing tiny Little Babe so often :)

I'm so happy! Much like these animals:

5w5d: First Ultrasound!

Wow, I can't believe I've actually gotten to this point! We had our first ultrasound yesterday! It feels unreal and like I'm waiting for someone to pull the rug out from under me.

Everything looked really great. Little Babe is measuring 5 weeks, 5 days which is exactly on point with my transfer date. We got to see the little heart fluttering away at 110 bpm and it was beautiful!!

We go back in a week at 6w6d and then have our first OB appointment at 7w7d

Edit: Also, I never updated after Beta #4: 10,324! Perfect!

Beta #3

Beta #1: 650
Beta #2: 2134
Beta #3: 3737

Today is Beta #4. I'm super nervous.

My breasts are sore and a little fuller and I have cramps every now and then. I don't have any other symptoms and that makes me nervous. Also with how everything has gone over the last 2.5 years it's hard to think something could be going the right way for once.

I found this chart online which is making me feel a little better. HCG doubling slows as it gets higher.

Beta #1 - 12dp5dt - 650
Beta #2 - 14dp5dt - 2134
Beta #3 is today!!!

Last half of TWW

6dp5dt: Period like cramps, mentally and emotionally exhausted, majorly miserable mood.
7dp5dt: Much better mood wise. I wanted to cry non stop for 3 days so I'm glad that's over (Edit: So apparently that was depression. I've literally never had a mood swing/felt that terrible before. I felt hopeless, lost, worthless, defeated, pessimistic, etc (look up despair in the dictionary and my face will be there). I knew I felt miserable and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. I really hope my head never goes there again. It was a terrible and scary place to be). My boobs are a little less sore and I'm having some period like cramps.
8dp5dt: I've noticed more vaginal discharge lately (white, wet). My cervix is also tightly closed and softish. Slightly sore boobs and cramps.
9dp5dt: cramps, tired, sore boos.
10dp5dt: Less of an appetite, cramps, sore boobs, discharge, headache.
11dp5dt: Less of an appetite, cramps, sore boobs, discharge, headache finally went away.
12dp5dt: Beta Day! This Schrodinger's Cat two weeks is finally over. Now we wait to find out our fate.

First Half of TWW

So I'm half way through the tww. It's been hard and difficult.

1dp5dt:Tired, emotional.
2dp5dt: Exhausted, very mild cramps.
3dp5dt: Sore boobs, not as tired, very mild cramps, crazy emotional (aka sobbing, thinking there is now way it could have worked)
4dp5dt: Sore boobs, asleep by 9:15pm, mild cramps, cervix is very tightly closed, medium height, and squishy.
5dp5dt: Mild carmps, sore boobs.

Blood work today:
Estradiol: 217
Progesterone: 36.5

I'm sick of this and need Monday to get here faster.

So many emotions (and a lot of negative ones, unfortunately)

2dp5dt

2 days post 5 day transfer: The nurse called with my labs from transfer Day: Estrogen was 713, and they want it above 150; Progesterone was 40, and they want it above 10. So far so good. I get labs again on Monday.

1dp5dt

Today is one day post our 5 day transfer.


Transfer Day: Transfer went really well! Our AA day 5 blastocyst thawed perfectly and was already hatching. Last time our best embryo was only an early blast BB. So far things are looking up! The doctor had no problems with the procedure and it was over very quickly. I spent the rest of the day hanging out on the sofa and it was great. I took my 2nd valium before bed and zonked out for 10 hours.

1dp5dt: I decided to work from home today and tomorrow to keep my stress down. I have a Patrice at work who drives me nuts. If I can avoid her these first few days it will make me feel a lot better.

 Snuggle in tight little embryo!!!

 

2 Days until FET!

FET is on Wednesday so only two days away!

I was away at a work conference last week and my takeaway from it was: People have GOT TO STOP ASKING WHEN OTHERS ARE GOING TO HAVE KIDS/IF THEY WANT KIDS/ETC.

My boss asked my this twice this past week, and while I don't think it came from any place malicious, he has no idea what I'm dealing with or going through and how that seemingly simple question can make me, or anyone else feel. My reproductive health is none of your concern, bro.

In the "Other News" portion of our program:

Finished Lupron on 2/2/17 - During my conference we were always out, away from the hotel during my injection time slot so I was doing my injections in dirty bar bathrooms, trying to juggle vials and needles and alcohol wipes. Glad that's over with.

Started progesterone on 2/3/17. I was out of town from 1/31/17-2/5/17 so my nurse gave me crinone for 3 days so I wouldn't have to stick myself with that huge as needle. Crinone is a mess, people. I am also glad to be finished with that! Though, this morning my first PIO didn't go as planned. The nurse said they want me to do it in the AM but that I can move it to PM after transfer (I'm not a morning person), so 6am today my husband did my shot. It hurt a lot more than I remembered the other PIOs hurting and after he removed the needle he said "oops. I didn't change the needle to the smaller one". Which explains why I feel like I got hit up with a horse needle! Better luck tomorrow I suppose.

I'm currently on three estradiol patches a day until told otherwise.

Beta is 2 weeks away!

Good call on the size 7 feet, Chrissy

FET Lining Check

I had my last lining check on Saturday: 12.5 mm, triple stripe! So we are all set to go for the 8th.

My ultrasound tech said they currently are more concerned with the endometrium being trilaminar, rather than mm thickness. She said when she started in the field a "good" lining measurement was 10mm, then decreased over time to now when they look for at least 7mm, but really want to see that triple stripe.

FET is in 9 days. This will work. I'm coming for your embryo <3 <3 <3

Headaches for Days

I don't know if it's the lupron or the estradiol patches but I have been getting headaches that last 3-4 days and I'm really really over it.

Lining Check

FETs aren't very exciting, and I mean that in the best of ways. There isn't much monitoring and there are less meds to keep track of.

I had a lining check today and I'm at 4.8mm. I'll continue my Lupron 10 units and start estrogen patches today. I start with .05 for today and tomorrow. I'm nervous I'm going to sweat them off working out (or at night...see below)

Has anyone else dealt with night sweats during an FET?!?! I've been waking up almost every night for a few weeks covered in sweat and it's awful! 1: it just feels so gross. 2: I am so lazy and I hate having to change and wash the sheets all the time. I don't remember getting these when I was on Lupron during my first ivf cycle. I had hot flashes when I was on clomid but NOTHING like this!!

23 days until FET!!

4 Weeks Until FET

I started Lupron on Saturday so today will be dose #5. I've had a headache since yesterday morning, went to bed with a headache, had a dream about having a headache, woke up with a headache. Lupron is FANTASTIC! Today is my last dose of BCPs so that actually is good news! Only 4 weeks left until transfer day! And I still have that dumbo hat in my shopping cart......Gap currently has 40% off.......my credit card is calling me......

Stupid Baby Emails

Random side tracked note:

Back in my more hopeful days, when we were happily ttc without a care in the world, thinking "Oh this will work no problem", I signed up for various emails and contests with stars in my eyes. Some days I don't want to read any of them, but I do like seeing new gear and whatnot. I'm all about keeping my stupid hopeful registry up-to-date...

I got an email yesterday about GapBaby's Dumbo line. OMG.


I need it all. I am about to buy that elephant hat anyways.