The Next 4 days

6dp5dt: Headache is worse. Cramps like usual.
7dp5dt: Still have a headache. Still cramps.
8dp5dt: Happy Birthday to me. Cramps.
9dp5dt: I feel like I'm going to cry at my desk all day. Cramps (what else is new?). I'm a stressed wreck between work and thinking about my beta on Friday. I'm really nervous it's going to be a negative. The things I've been feeling like exhaustion, cramps, tender breasts, can all be a side effect of the PIO. I don't feel anything that indicates pregnancy. It sucks that PIO/pregnancy/period symptoms are all the same.

4 days until Beta.

First Half of TWW

1dp5dt:Cramping. Tired.
2dp5dt: Cramping. Exhausted. Fell asleep at my desk at work. Fell asleep at home around 5pm for about 30 minutes. Only woke up because my phone rang. Fell asleep for the night at 10:00pm.
3dp5dt: Cramping. A little less tired.
4dp5dt: Cramping. Tired.
5dp5dt: Cramping. Tired. Small headache.

Progesterone: 29.5 (nurse said it should be above 5)
Estrodiol: 225 (nurse said it should be above 125)

Now I have to wait another week for beta. This is going to be a slow. slow. week.

So sad.

Bad news today. None of our other 7 embryos made it to freeze. So the one we transferred is our only hope. I went from extremely happy and hopeful 10 minutes ago to sad, crying, and hopeless. If those other 7 didn't make it why would the one we transferred make it?

Transfer Day!!

Yesterday was finally transfer day! All my fears of us going to the clinic and them telling us all 8 embryos stopped growing between Day 3 and day 5 were unfounded of course. We still had 8. We ended up transfering one BB Early Blastocyst.

Our transfer was scheduled for 2:30pm and we were told to arrive a little before 2. We ended up getting there around 1:45. The nurse brought us right back to the procedure area and had me take my first valium, change into a robe, and then she drew blood to check my progesterone and E2 levels (I'll get a call today with the results and if they need to make any adjustments to my dosages). Another couple was coming out of the procedure room so we had to wait while they cleaned and reset for us which only took maybe 10 minutes.

They had my assume the position (you know exactly what I mean IVF ladies) and checked my bladder to make sure it was full. The tech said it was good and I could actually go pee for a few seconds if I wanted too if I wasn't feeling good because of it. I told her I was fine, because having to pee and stop when you still have a full bladder sucks. The doctor came in and showed us pictures of all of our embryos and went over their grading. We chose the best one and the doctor started doing her thing. The embryologist brought our embryo over, the doctor injected it, which we could see on the ultrasound machine. The embryologist checked the catheter to make sure it was all clear, then the doc removed everything from my vag. She then emptied my bladder with a catheter which I wasn't expecting at all!!! I was laughing the whole time. And it took a while.that thing was full to the brim. We go to watch my bladder shrink on the monitor which I also found cool. The tech handed us a picture print out of the embryo sitting in my uterus as well to keep.

After that I moved to the stretcher and they wheeled me back to the recovery area. I rested there for about 15 minutes and then off we went for home! We were at the clinic for maybe 45 minutes total. Easy peasy.

And now we wait until September 2nd for our beta. I'm going to take a half day because if they call with bad news there is no way I can go back to work. But for the next 11 days I'm going to think positive and only positive. This will work. There is no reason for it not to.

Me for the next few days:

Day 3 Post Retrieval

We still have 8 embryos growing. The nurse said on day three they should be between 6 and 8 cells. We have 4 8-cells, 2 7-cells, 1 6-cell, and 1 5-cell. The nurse said that 5-cell may catch up before we have to freeze on day 6.

We won't get an update on day 4 which sucks! I just want to know how they're doing! I'm already the world's craziest helicopter parent.

I'm feeling a LOT better today than I did yesterday. I felt not too bad on Tuesday after the retrieval. Wednesday I felt better, even went for a walk. Yesterday, though, by about midday it was uncomfortable just walking at work like to the bathroom or the printer. I think part of it was being constipated because I felt a lot better once I went #2. I drank a cup of coffee to try and get things grooving in there. I still didn't feel great though, a lot of bloating and discomfort when moving so I laid down at home the rest of the night. I was afraid of OHSS but I keep tabs on my weight and it has gone down since the procedure. Today a lot of my bloating went down, my weight is back to my pre-stims weight and I feel MUCH more like myself.

Only a few days until Transfer! Stay strong little embryos!

Day 2 Post Retrieval

Our little embryos are doing good. The nurse finally called around 10:30 (I was waiting on pins and needles, and of course imagining every terrible scenario as to why it was taking them so long to call. Thanks Dr. Google).

We still have all 8 embryos. The nurse said on day two they should be between 2 and 4 cells. We have one overachieving 5-cell, three 4-cell, and four 2-cells.

I keep wishing we had live video feed of them in the lab so I could watch them all day, kind of like doggie day cares that live stream all day to their clients/owners. I'd have my embies up on my monitor all day having a party any time their cute little cells divided.

As for me, I'm constipated (haven't gone since Monday, ugh), bloated, and crampy. I'm hoping this goes away soooooon!

Egg Retrieval and After

I'm one day post egg retrieval! We were able to do the trigger on Monday evening and went in for our retrieval on Wednesday. I took two 250unit ovidrels for the trigger, and luckily didn't have any side effects. ( side note: I think I was pretty lucky as far as side effects went during this whole process! The BCP was definitely the worst. Besides starting to feel slightly bloated I didn't have much else going on.). By the time I woke up on Wednesday I was in a bit of discomfort and pain just from having a bunch of large eggs ready to ovulate. We got to the clinic around 10:45am. They brought us back to the recovery area around 10:55. The nurse came and went over some forms and got my IV set up, the anesthetist introduced himself and went over some more forms, the ultrasound tech I had been seeing the last week and a half came over to say hi. The doctor finally cam over around 11:30 to introduce himself (our regular RE was on vacation so another dr. from another clinic was doing our retrieval). Finally they took me to the bathroom and then right into the procedure room. The anesthetist hooked me up to a monitor and said he was injecting something into my IV. He asked if I felt anything and I said nope. Next thing I knew I was waking up into the recovery area mumbling something about Michael Jackson. We were on our way home by 1:30pm.

I was feeling pretty crappy right after the procedure but probably 10 minutes after we started for home I felt so much better. I did take the tylenol with codeine my doc prescribed beforehand (and that was some good stuff). I drank a ton of water and had a lot of extra protein.

Today, the day after the procedure, I definitely feel sore and crampy. No bleeding which is good, but bloated for sure.I worked from home to not lose a PTO day and to take it easy. I have no idea if I have any work clothes that will fit right now! Do you think it's ok to wear yoga pants and a tshirt in a business casual office?

We got 10 eggs during the procedure. Today the nurse called to update us and said all 10 were mature and they were able to fertilize 8 with ICSI. I didn't think to ask why they did ICSI (we didn't chose this ahead of time, but on our consents chose the option of yes please do what you need to to make sure these eggs turn into embies and they grow). I'm assuming it was because we only had 10 and they didn't want to take the chance of them NOT fertilizing. Now we wait until tomorrow to hear again! It's nerve wracking that everything is out of my hands (and body!), that what happens happens. this $15000 may have been for nothing. But I'm going to believe those 8 embies are strong and all will grow to day 5 blastocysts and the one we transfer comes back out in 9 months.

Cycle Updates

We stimmed for 12 days and were able to do the trigger on Sunday night at 11:30pm so we go in Tuesday at 11:30am for the retrieval. I didn't write down the exact numbers (the tech said she give me a copy of my records sheet but she forgot and I forgot) but on Sunday morning I had 8-10 mature follicles and a few smaller ones hanging around. Hopefully the trigger gives them a boost and I can get some more mature eggs retrieved. I'm excited to be at the retrieval finally, but I'm also terrified I'm going to ovulate early and terrified they'll get in there. And I'm afraid with not having smaller numbers right now that limits my chance for success as they fertilize and grown. I can only think positive thoughts and let what happens happens. At this point it is out of my hands.

And for another edition of Overheard at the Fertility Clinic: "It looks like garlic gloves in there. I have to concentrate to make sure I don't count one twice!"

Stims Day 12 Update

Early morning scan and blood work this morning to check progess. I have a 20, 17, 17, 14, 11, and two smaller follies on the left and 17, 17, 16, 13, 11, 10, and two smaller on the right. My E2 is at 1487 and still triple strip edno. They're keeping me on the same dose tonight (still 75 Gonal F, 150 Menopur, 5 Lupron) and then going back tomorrow morning to check things again.

Both the ultrasound tech and nurse said it looked likely trigger could be tomorrow, and if not tomorrow then Monday! I'm hoping tomorrow because after today's dose I'll be out of Gonal F and I didn't want to have to buy more. That shit's expensive!

As far as side effects go I have some bloating and definitely some discomfort. We walked around the zoo today for an hour and a half before we had to leave because walking was uncomfortable. Those ladies that have 20+ follies #praisehands. I have less than 10 sizeable follies. I can't imagine what it's like with more!!
I've also cried a bit while watching the olympics; like every time the national anthem plays. Go Team!

Stims Day 11 Update

We're getting there! E2 is up to 974 and my lining is at 15 (is there such a thing as to thick?!) On the left I have a 15, 15, 14, 12, 11 and on the right I have 15, 15, 15, 13, 10. I'll be on the same dose tonight and go back tomorrow morning for another check. I'm finally feeling excited. I even did a little dance once the ultrasound tech left the room. I'm so proud of these little follies! It's looking like just a few more days until retrieval!

Stims Day 9 Update

Stims Day 9 update: My estrogen jumped from 159 on Monday to 407 today so it looks like things are finally starting to kick into gear in my lady parts :)I feel like saying this is totally going to jinx it, but man I really didn't want to buy more meds, but with how things are going I think I'm going to have to. But hey, what's $1000 more dollars?

At my ultrasound today the tech found  3 10s and 6 less than 8s on the right. On the left I have a 12, 11, 10, and 8 less than 8s. Grow grow grow little guys!!

My endometrium is at 13 so I have that going for me.

 Because sloths are probably the best creature.

Stims Day 7 Update

I've done stims injections for 6 nights now. Today was my 2nd update ultrasound. As of this morning I have 3 less than 10mm follies and 6 less than 8mm on the right. On the left I have 2 10mms, 1 less than 10mm, and 11 less than 8mm. My estrogen is at 159 (which seems a bit low to me...right?) and progesterone is .6. My doctor is keeping me on the 75 Gonal F, 150 Menopur, and 5 units Lupron.

I definitely am starting to feel the meds working. I feel crampy/tingly/something in my ovaries and definitely started feeling bloated. Honestly I'm happy to have bloat and cramps and move slower because I hope it means the meds are working. I didn't feel anything at all until yesterday (day 6) so hopefully things are moving along now. I go back on Wednesday for another scan and am hoping to see a lot of good progress.

In other news: Yesterday was my first day of having to mix everything myself and hopefully it will be the last! My menopur was clumped like a sugar cube and I freaked out because every other time it was powdery. I was completely afraid I somehow ruined my meds and wasted thousand of dollars. I called the RE's answering service and they put me on the PA at my clinic. She reassured me it was ok and the saline would disolved the menopur just fine. I felt bad for disrupting her Sunday evening! But I'm glad I called and had my fears eased. On top of that I went to draw my Lupron and realized I was out of syringes/needles. At 6:30pm on a Sunday. So another freak out entailed while I frantically searched for an open pharmacy. I wasn't even sure if the pharmacy would sell me needles OTC. Luckily I found an open pharmacy and after a bit of confusion by the pharmacy tech who wanted to know if I needed them "for injecting things." One thing's for sure. Use the word infertility with a 21 year old dude and they shut up and give you what you asked for. So about 45 minutes of panicking later I got everything mixed and injected. Disaster averted. This time.

Stims Day 4 Update

Day Two: Went a LOT better. We got everything correct this time. Used the other thigh.
Day Three: Still doing good with the shots. Used the stomach this time. The shots seem to burn more here.
Day Four: Ultrasound and blood work in the morning. I had 7 follies on the right and 11 on the left today. I already have a big bruise from my blood draw because she drew from a weird vein. My estrogen is at 64, was at 19 on Tuesday. She said it's normal to see the estrogen values increase before the follies start growing so that's good.

I go back in on Monday for another ultrasound/blood work.

In the mean time I'm going to chill out, watch some Olympics, and let this follies grow.

Stims Day 1

Yesterday was our first day with stims meds and let me tell you: I screwed up.
 
I'm supposed to mix two vials of Menopur with a 1/2 cc of saline. After measuring the air into the syringe and putting the 1/2 cc of air into the vial instead of picking up only a 1/2 cc of saline we did the entire bottle. That much saline pumping into my leg didn't feel right, that's for sure.

And then after doing the Lupron shot I realized I drew up the full 10 units instead of the 5 I was supposed to drop it to! I had the instructions right in front of me, all day I kept telling myself: 5 units, not 10. Reduce your dose. Half dose of Lupron. Over and over and over. And then in all the excitement and nervousness of doing these injections for the first night I hit myself up with 10 units.

It is nothing major, but I still have to call the RE and let them know my screw ups. I feel like a kid who got caught doing something bad. Like they're going to take my toys away and send me to time out.

The only good thing is that it was the first night. I'm just afraid because of the extra Lupron I will have to stim extra days and will have to buy more meds, and man those are expensive! Here's to not screwing up again!

Give me all the stims!

I just got the call that we can go ahead and start stims tonight!

FINALLY!

Bright and early at 6:50am this morning I had my baseline ultrasound and blood work done. The ultrasound tech counted 11 follicles on the right and 16 on the left. Let's hope they stick around and grow! I know there can be a big fall off between the different stages, but to know I have a lot to start gives me hope. I have my next scan and blood work on Friday. I'm excited to see how they grow! I think I'm going to try doing the shots in my thigh tonight. My stomach is feeling a bit tender from the Lupron.

I hope these next few weeks go by fast 1. because I'm impatient and just want to be through the TWW already and 2. my drive to my RE's office is at least 30 minutes there and then 30-40 minutes back in the other direction to work. At least my appointments are so early I am still to work before rush hour traffic really kicks in. My 15 minute drive is now is at least quadrupled, sometimes more if I do hit traffic. And I HATE traffic.

But I will sit in all the traffic ever if it gets me knocked up :)