Overwhelmed

We're coming to an end of the TWW for IUI#3. I have a beta blood test tomorrow for it, and see how I feel exactly the same as every other month I don't think it's going to be good news. I've been trying to be very optimistic about it, but right now I'm not.

Yesterday we met with one of the IVF nurses from our RE clinic to go over details about doing an IVF cycle. If this last IUI doesn't work out we will be on the schedule for an August retrieval/transfer. Because of the timing of my cycles we just missed the window for a July IVF. I'm upset we have one more month to wait, but am happy we can at least do August. Our RE is limiting August IVF cycles because she will be out of town for a portion of the month. There is a chance our retrieval will be done by a different dr. from a separate clinic. I've researched the other dr. and he seems perfectly competent so we are ok with having him do the procedure. I almost want to say I'd do anything to have the procedure in August, but then I'll end up like those women with Fix-a-Flat in their butts.

 () Yeah, no thanks.

We will be starting meds on July 24th, the day one of my closest friends is due. This fact is making me very sad. I'm sad it's taken us so long to get to this point. That in 21 months we haven't been able to do what she could do in 3. I'm sitting here at my desk at work want to cry. Overwhelmed by all of the information we received yesterday. Overwhelmed by the cost (we knew it would be a lot, but it was always a future problem. Now we have to pay in a month!). Overwhelmed by everything.

Update: And to make it worse I had my beta today and of course the lab sucks and didnt get the results to my dr by the time the office closed at 1pm. Grr. So now I have to wait until Monday when I'm at work for the bad news. I guess in the mean time Ill start filling out paperwork.