We're Doing a December Cycle

We met with our RE last Wednesday to discuss our failed cycle and where we go from here. Since we ended up with a chemical pregnancy and the rest of our embryos arrested by day 6, and when adding in my elevated FSH it looks like egg quality is the most likely culprit of our infertility at this point.

We really wanted to go ahead and do another cycle right away but instead we are going to be waiting and doing a December cycle and in the meantime pumping myself full of supplements: Omega 3, L-Arginine, CoQ10, Vitamin E, and Vitamin C, in addition to my prenatal and Vitamin D I'm already taking. Hopefully these boost my egg quality because right now I'm 28 and have the reproductive system of a 40 year old.

This failed cycle and cycle push back has been really hard for me to take and to deal with. I think I'm doing good and then WHAM! Another pregnancy announcement. It's so hard to deal with infertility when everyone around you is getting pregnant with no problem. Especially when I've done nothing bad or wrong. I've never smoked, don't drink often, never been over weight, exercise regularly, eat fairly well. This whole thing sucks.

Moving On

The rumors are true. The period after a failed IVF/chemical pregnancy SUCKS! It was the heaviest flow and worst cramping I have ever had, and I typically have heavy flow and cramps. I woke up at 3:30am, 5:30am, and 7:30am soaking through super tampons (that was the heaviest I had with me on our vacation). If i had my leftover Tylenol with codine from after the retrieval I would have take it. I was curled up in a fetal position of the bathroom floor. Awful. Now, a few days later, this are feeling better. Still crampy but ok.

We want to move right on to another round of IVF so I had a CD4 ultrasound and blood work this morning. The tech said I had some complicated cysts on my ovaries, but that's normal to see after an IVF round. I got my BCP prescription as well as protocol with two timings, one for Sept and one for Oct. The nurse will call later today to discuss our options.

We also meet with our RE on Wednesday to discuss this past cycle and the future. If anyone has good questions to ask let me know!

I look back at what we've gone through and the 'milestones' we've reached. I never thought it would take more than 2-3 months to get pregnant. Never thought it would take over 6 months. Never thought it would take over a year. Never thought I would have to take clomid. Never thought I have to go to a fertility clinic. Never thought it would take more than one IUI. Or more than 3 IUIs. I never thought I would have to go through IVF. Never thought I would have a chemical pregnancny. And I definitely never thought I would have to go through two rounds of IVF. I used to be hopeful with each new things, saying this is going to be the thing that works for us. This is the thing that will get me pregnant. But now I'm not so sure. I feel less and less hopeful every month that passes.



What IVF feels like:

It Ends in a Chemical Pregnancy

IVF cycle 1 is a failure. My 2nd beta today came back as <5 or negative for hcg (pregnancy hormone). I got a positve hpt on Friday at 12dp5dt. The next I tested was 14dp5dt and got a faint line on a first reaponse frer and nothing on a wondfro. At 15dp5dt I got a Not Pregnant on clearblue digital and nothing on wondro. This is a chemical pregnancy, or early miscarriage.

I suppose it's good to know I CAN get pregnant. I have never had any positive test in the two years we've been ttc. But this totally and completely sucks. From what I've read most chemical pregnancies are a result of implanation problems or a problem with the egg. So it also sucks to think this is my fault and my body isn't doing something that is supposed to be so natural and is so easy for so many people.

We will meet with our RE next week to talk about what went wrong and what we will do next time. Hubs and I both want to move onto another cycle as soon as possible and because we didn't have any embryos to freeze we will be starting from scratch. Hopefully we can start as soon as I have my period and we can be on the schedule for the October ivf group.

Beta Day Arrived!

I'm now 12dp5ft, also know as Beta Day! I finally took a HPT this morning and got a positive! I promptly started freaking the fuck out - crying and shaking. I woke my husband up to let him know the news. Somehow I made it to work and even though I only had a half day scheduled I don't know how I made it through the day. The nurse called with my results around 1:00pm and told us the beta was positive! I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I've seen my husband cry and this was one of them <3 My number is 56 and from stalking  Dr. Google for two weeks now it seems like a low number. So yes, right now I am pregnant (eek!!!!!) but I'm being very very cautiously optimistic. It sounds like a lot of people with numbers around mine ended up with chemical pregnancies.

Because of the holiday weekend we don't go back for another beta on Tuesday, 4 days after our first draw instead of the typical 2. by then we should be well above 200. So we shall see!!